


You are My Sunshine

by thenostalgicdreamer



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Childhood Sweethearts, Crush, F/M, Gen, Love Stories, Riarkle love story, School, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 20:36:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9288605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenostalgicdreamer/pseuds/thenostalgicdreamer
Summary: Farkle reflects on his relationship with Riley over the years.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The fact that I include a mean teacher in this story does not reflect on my views of education or teachers in general. On the contrary, I am highly supportive of all teachers believing that the vast majority care deeply about each one of their students. Also, there is a Rucas breakup in this story. Consider yourself warned. ;)

The final credits rolled. It had been one of the best movies Farkle had ever seen. He was ready to make some comment about how epic it had been when he glanced over and realized that Riley was asleep. He should have known; Riley always fell asleep during movies if it was late. They hadn't been planning on watching a movie when Riley came over to study to chemistry, but she had been so excited about a movie that she had seen that she had insisted that they watched it. Farkle had thought that 9:30 was too late to start a movie on a school night, but he had finally conceded. She could be pretty convincing, he had to say. And she had been right about the movie being good. He had been so engrossed in it that he hadn't even noticed her falling asleep.

He gently pulled his arm out from behind her back, so that he could get a closer look at her. Her long brown hair lay against the sides of her face, and the expression on it was a peaceful one. As he looked her over, he couldn't quite believe that the beautiful, sparkling Riley was his girl. My dear, sweet Riley—where would I ever be without you? he whispered. She had appeared out of nowhere when he needed her most, brightening his life with her presence. Getting to know him, she had seen possibilities where he only saw broken pieces. No matter what happened, she had showed him that there was always hope. He knew no other way to describe it than to say that she was his sunshine.

Farkle hadn't always been broken. He had grown up quite happily until he was five. His parents, albeit busy, cared deeply about their son. He had memories of happy times together—trips to local museums, movies at the theatre, story times on the couch. When he had shared his dreams of becoming a biologist like Jack Hanna or a astronaut like Neil Armstrong with his parents, they had expressed their faith in his ability to succeed at whatever he set his mind too. His dad had told him about school and how it was the key to gaining the knowledge that he needed to make his dreams come true. With such aspirations, Farkle couldn't have been more excited to start preschool and learning in earnest when he turned four. His teacher Miss Hannah had been wonderful and had realized that there was something special about him. She had done her best to cultivate his natural love of learning by allowing him to share his insights and questions often. He had finished the year thrilled to think that he would be spending the next fourteen years of his life in school.

Farkle had walked into kindergarten brimming with enthusiasm and confidence but had quickly discovered that school didn't necessarily mean the warm and happy experience of preschool. His new teacher Mrs. Hunt was strict and demanding. She made the students sit quietly at attention or face a timeout. This wouldn't have been a problem except for the fact that Mrs. Hunt rarely let her students talk. When she did call on a student, it was never Farkle. Sometimes, he felt like what he had to say was so important that he would interrupt her before he could stop himself. Mrs. Hunt would send him to the "quiet" room off the hall where he had to do a stack of worksheets a mile high before he could return to class. The worksheets were so easy for him that he could get them done in a matter of minutes. The first time he finished quickly and returned them to her she told him that she was sure he couldn't be done already and that he needed to go back and finish. Every day, he vowed to try harder to work quietly for Mrs. Hunt.

His papers were often marked with a frown rather than a smiley face like those of his peers. Farkle couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong. When he asked Mrs. Hunt about the frowns, she showed him a page where the student had written multiple sentences to answer a short question and told him that was what she expected. Sometimes, she handed his paper back to him without a word and sent him to the quiet room to work on it. As time went on, he noticed the other students whispering when he came back from the quiet room. They avoided eye contact with him and called him names at recess. They mocked his weird attire and robot voice. Eventually, Mrs. Hunt began taking away his recess as a punishment. He didn't hate being away from the mocking voices of his classmates, but spending recess inside was torture when Mrs. Hunt didn't have recess duty. She would stand beside his desk and tell him how much of a bother he was and how she wished he was in any other class except hers. He was stupid, idiotic, a nothing. Her unkind words often drove him to the brink of tears, but any sign of emotion on his face was a signal for another punishment, so he tried his best to hold it all in. He sat at his desk crying inside and waiting for the torture to be over. In time, he learned to enjoy the peacefulness of the quiet room where he was safe from the staring eyes and unkind words. He tried to tell his parents about what was going on, but he didn't know how to put his experiences into words.

He thought that he was coping pretty well until one day Mrs. Hunt in rare form decided to let her class read their compositions to their classmates. Farkle had worked his hardest on his composition writing seven sentences where many of his peers had only written one. He was determined to finally get the recognition he deserved and felt excited to think that his voice would be heard. Finally, all of the other students had read their pieces. It was his turn, but instead of calling him up Mrs. Hunt announced that Farkle's composition had been really sloppy and that he wouldn't be reading today. The class laughed. Farkle was devastated. Maybe he really was a nothing? There was no other reasonable explanation for what had happened. And if he was a failure, why was he trying so hard to make his dreams come true? He might as well give up now. He tried his best to keep back the tears, but they kept coming to his eyes. When Mrs. Hunt noticed his tears, she dismissed him to the quiet room. He entered and shut the door. The normally comforting walls seemed to be closing in on him, and he began sobbing louder and louder. He felt so upset that he found himself kicking the walls and screaming. Farkle was scared—he'd never done anything like that before. Eventually, the door opened, and the school counselor appeared. Her presence was enough to jerk him to reality bringing his screams back to quiet sobs, but he didn't calm down completely until his mother appeared at the door.

That night, he was finally able to put his experiences into words for the first time. His parents were heartbroken that their son had been treated so unfairly and told him that he would never be going back to that school again. Farkle was relieved and found comfort in their warm sympathy. Soon, he was acting more or less like his normal, confident self. Deep inside, however, he was different. His spirit had been broken. He walked around with the assumption that he was nothing and had to prove otherwise. Lies colored his thoughts keeping him from seeing anything different. Even when his parents told him that it was not his fault, he couldn't help but remember the times that he had messed up. If he were better, none of this would have happened to him.

The thought of another school year was terrifying. As much as he didn't want to go to his old school, starting at a new one was almost as scary. The first day of first grade was one of the worst of his entire life. The thought of meeting his new classmates and teacher made him feel sick to his stomach. As he entered the new school, he heard the taunting voices of his old teacher and classmates in his head. You're nothing, Farkle. You match your shirt—both are weird. Weird people like you never get a girlfriend. You're stupid that's why this is happening to you. He was barely able to walk out to the playground. His heart was beating so fast he was sure that everyone could hear it, and his hands were so shaky he had trouble with the door. When he stepped outside, he saw that the playground was enormous. There were so many kids that he didn't know that he began to panic. He was headed for a corner of the school building when a girl with sparkling brown eyes and matching pigtails approached him. He was so scared that he almost ran away, but then she smiled and he decided to stay. Her smile was like the first glimmer of sunshine on a rainy day. In it, he saw hope. Her face lit up with excitement as she asked him his name and favorite color telling him how she'd been looking forward to first grade for weeks. Her kindness warmed his heart, and he smiled back.

At first, Farkle held himself back. He was sure that his new teacher Ms. Jackson was going to scold him and that his classmates would make fun of him. He barely said anything for two weeks even to Riley who invited him to eat lunch with her and Maya and made him part of their recess games. Her kindness scared him deeply. He was sure that she was only trying to butter him up and that she would drop him like a hot potato when she saw what he was really like. Every day, he liked her more, and the pain of losing her became more unbearable in his mind. It was only a matter of time now. When day after day passed without an incident, he slowly began to realize that Riley was a kind and trustworthy person. Unlike the mean kids at his old school, she would never treat anyone with disrespect regardless of what they were like. To his surprise, he found himself slowly opening up to her and telling her about his favorite books, his trips with his parents, and his dreams for the future. He was blown away when she liked him even better once he began showing his true colors. She was amazed by his intelligence and told him she was sure he'd be a scientist or astronaut some day. She began encouraging him to speak up in class. Because she was the one asking, he did.

Farkle found himself more and more impressed with Riley as the days passed. She was so bright and cheerful that it was impossible to be with her and not be encouraged. She was like sunshine, and her mere presence banished the dark clouds that filled his heart. Initially, he thought that her enthusiasm was a temporary and that it would fade once school became routine. However, the weeks passed, and she still found new things to be excited about. She was always excited about something whether it be her new hair ribbons or the strawberry cupcake she'd have for lunch or the butterfly project she'd be presenting that day. It was like she still believed that the world was beautiful place waiting to be explored. When she found something beautiful, it made her so happy that she couldn't help but share it with someone else. Sometimes, her attitude seemed overkill making Farkle wonder if she was an angel rather than a real human girl.

In time, Farkle began to see the basis of Riley's cheery attitude. It was hope. She believed that the entire world was beautiful because hers was. Growing up in a happy home with loving parents who had her best interest at heart, she had little to disappoint or sadden her. Success came easily to her. If she worked hard, her dreams would come true. She naively believed that it worked that way for everyone else since it worked that way for her. Unfortunately, this hope was a strength as well as a weakness. Farkle knew all too well that the real world was tragic as well as beautiful. Dreams and wishes did not always come true. Riley's faith stayed firm because she had never been disappointed. If something too difficult came along, her confidence would be shattered, and her hope would be gone forever just like his had been. Farkle knew that what she had was rare and beautiful. He had look no farther than himself to see this. When he felt dark and overwhelmed, all he had to do was go to Riley to feel better. Her enthusiasm was infectious, and her smile made him feel warm again. In her vision for his future, he saw hope of being everything he'd wanted it to be. He needed her; the world needed more people like her. With this realization, he had resolved to do everything in his power to protect Riley. Talking to Maya one day, he had suggested that they form a protect-Riley club. Maya, who had previously been doing the job on her own, was excited to have a partner-in-crime. Together, they pinkie promised to do their best to not let anything hurt Riley.

As time passed, Farkle forgot about kindergarten and the feelings of nothingness. Riley and Maya were great distractions, and his teachers sought to cultivate rather than squash his brilliance. He developed an interest in robotics, world conquests, and geometry and made friends with those interests. Outwardly, his confidence grew as he saw himself succeed at anything he put his mind too. However, he was still fragile inside. Whenever someone criticized himself or his work, he found himself wondering if he really was a big nothing and all his attempts at success where hopeless. The lies from kindergarten would begin playing again in his mind again, and he would wonder what he was doing with his life. Usually, all it took was some time with Riley and Maya until he was feeling better again. With their help, he would soon forget the lies and be back to his normal self again.

When Farkle first started at Woodrow Wilson Elementary, he was amazed that the teachers taught kindness and that the students weren't bullies. He actually made friends with some of the other students and won the respect of many others. By middle school, he was finally feeling better until Billy's unkind words dealt a death blow in his new found confidence. It all started one day at his locker with a mean comment about his turtlenecks. After Billy spoke, Farkle felt like the floor was spinning beneath and grabbed onto the locker floor to keep from falling. He walked away without a word and came back to school the next day as if nothing had happened. However, Billy found him alone again that day and told him that he was the biggest nothing in the whole school. It was the same wording that Mrs. Hunt had used once, and it was just too much. Farkle barely got home, losing his lunch on the way. Still, he said nothing about what had happened. It had to be his fault. Mrs. Hunt and Billy wouldn't independently arrive at the same incorrect conclusion.

Farkle tossed and turned all night unsure of what to do in the morning. He knew that he would feel even more miserable if he avoided school entirely, but he also knew he couldn't face Billy again. At five am, he finally came up with idea of using his dad's two way monitor and setting up camp in the janitor's closet. It worked until his friends discovered what was going on. He felt the fear creep in again as he heard footsteps outside and the door knob turning. He really didn't want his friends to see him as anything other than the over-confident kid he usually pretended to be. When the door finally opened, Riley appeared. Her face held an expression of horror at his pain, but her kind words put him instantly at ease. As she put her arms around him, he felt her warmth sink deep inside. He didn't have to be anything special for her; she loved him just the way he was. Most importantly, she believed that he was special and had a bright future ahead of him. He saw hope in her smile and knew that eventually he would be alright again.

As he pulled out of that challenge, Farkle couldn't help but realize that he had another problem on his hands-Lucas. Ever since the girls had met Lucas on the subway, he had been somewhat of a rival. He was effortlessly charming and good looking as well as kind and thoughtful. Farkle couldn't help feeling jealous as he watched Riley fall for Lucas knowing that he looked young for his age and his attempts at charm felt forced. It was natural that she would prefer Lucas. As much as he wanted her to be happy, seeing her with Lucas was painful. He needed Riley and her support in his life, and Lucas had the power to take her away forever. He spent many sleepless nights pondering the seemingly impossible situation.

The tears finally came when Lucas and Riley finally started dating Freshman year. To everyone else, Farkle was the same. He pursued academics with vigor and still hung out with his friends. He flirted openly with Maya and even took her out on a few dates. Inside, he was falling apart. Riley was the one who had always believed in him. When she was around, he felt like that he was more than just a squeaky mouse. She brightened his world and banished the dark clouds of doubts. Now, he wondered if perhaps it really was true after all. He was just a big nothing and would never get a girlfriend just like his kindergarten friends had said. True, Maya was still available, but he knew instinctively that they would never be more than friends.

Everything changed the summer after sophomore year when Lucas dumped Riley. It honestly could have been worse—Lucas didn't leave her for anyone else, and he still wanted to be friends. However, Riley's world was shattered forever. For the first time in her life, she had watched a dream die. Instantly, she was faced with the dark, ugly side of life that she had been blind to for so long. Farkle felt his heart sink to hear the news. He had tried his best to protect her and had failed. He knew what she must be feeling. He knew what it was like to come to grips with life's pain, and he longed to bring light to her suffering soul. However, Riley needed her space to begin the slow process of recovery. He gave her and Maya a few days to begin sorting through things, but he couldn't stay away for ever.

He showed up at her window four days after and was shocked at how differently she looked. Her face was pale and had traces of tears, and dark circles hovered under her eyes. She looked up to acknowledge his presence but said nothing. He quietly took a seat on the sill motioning for her to come and sit beside her. She slowly made her way over settling on the opposite side with her hands around her knees. He was surprised to see her so quiet, even the midst of such a tragedy. More time passed before she spoke. When she did, her voice was low and hollow. She was different now. She'd finally seen the world for what it was and no longer naively believed that dreams always came true. He told me he would never leave, but he did. He was my first love, Farkle. I loved him. I love him, she told him. Nothing that he could say would ever change what had happened, so he merely agreed. He knew it meant to feel broken. It hurt him seeing her in the same place he'd been before. He went over and sat next to her, placing his arm comfortingly around her. They sat together, her head on shoulder in silence for a long time. He didn't have the words to say, so he sat in silence hoping that his simple gestures communicated that he understood and that no matter what he'd never leave.

Farkle had always dreaded the day that he would be unable to protect Riley. For all his precautions, he had known that sooner or later something would happen that he would be powerless to prevent. He had been tortured by the fear that she would fall into a million pieces that he would be unable to put back together again. However, the tragedy revealed sides of Riley that Farkle had never seen before. She proved to be stronger than he would have ever dreamed. Despite the pain, she was bent on pressing forward. She asserted her determination to get over Lucas and took the steps to make that happen. Through it all, she was never unkind him. Farkle couldn't help see that she was not a naive little girl but a mature, strong woman. She needed his help and support but she was by no means weak and helpless.

As time passed, Farkle began to see the cynicism that he had seen so often in himself creep into Riley's heart. Her remarks were laced with bitterness instead of hope. It hurt him to see her suffering and hopeless when he knew personally the depth of the pain that she must be feeling. He himself had been hopeless before she had shown him that there was more to the world than its tragedies. Now, it was his turn to do the same for her. After years of watching her, he had an eye for life's beauty. He went out of his way to point out cheeky smiles, shiny stars, and high "A"s. He smiled at her and saw her smile back.

Farkle watched the blow fall on Riley again when Maya and Lucas began dating six months later. It had been alright for Riley as long as Lucas had stayed single, but the news of his new relationship was painful for her. Farkle knew that she was blaming herself for what had happened. If she had been more beautiful or more perfect, she wouldn't have been dumped. However, it was all too clear to Farkle that that wasn't the reason at all. He had been noticing the way that Maya looked at Lucas for years and had thought for some time that perhaps someday they would be more than friends. He honestly wasn't surprised when it happened, but poor Riley was devastated. Farkle knew that the time had finally come for him to tell the story of what had happened to him in kindergarten. He'd kept it to himself all this time knowing that its depths could crush her. Now, though, she was ready. In fact, she needed to hear it.

A few weeks later, he found himself on her fire escape. They sat silent side by side looking out over the bustling street below. When he heard her feet tapping restlessly, he began. She expressed sympathy at his pain, but he brushed it aside and moved on. He was not looking to get her sympathy but rather to bring her hope. He went on telling of how her belief in him had pulled him out of his dark dungeon of sadness. Over the years, her bright hope had helped him to say no to the lies that had threatened to control him. Because of Riley's sunshine, he had hope. Now that she was suffering, he wanted to help her. He wanted to be her sunshine-the one that would help her to see past the dark clouds. Farkle moved around to the step beneath her where he could look into her eyes. He grabbed her hand and asked her if she would let him be her sunshine like she'd been his. Together, they would fight the clouds of despair and doubt. They would never give up trying until their dreams came true. Riley's yes was quiet yet sincere. When she put her head on his shoulder pulling him into a great big hug, he wondered if it was be possible for him to be any happier.

Several months had passed since that memorable day, and he had to say that he had been wrong. Every day with Riley had been better than the last. They had had their struggles, but they leaned on each other and found themselves growing. Riley's hope was growing deep and strong, and he found his belief in himself growing by leaps and bounds. They were the perfect pair—each other's sunshine.

Dear, dear Riley….He grabbed her hand between his and gave it a quick squeeze. She woke up and smiled. The movie's over already?

Yes, you fell asleep, he said chuckling. Far...I told you that it would be too late when it finished.

You, she laughed poking him in the chest. Give me a hug, she ordered, and he inched closer again.

I love you, Riley, he said and put his arms around her. You are my sunshine.


End file.
